Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Pain

That's all, really, I can think of right now. Brain won't work. Neck hurts--it generally doesn't since I typically know how to avoid aggravating it. Spine hurts at its typical worst. Really wanted wanted wanted to go to something tonight, could not or know I wouldn't be able to function at all tomorrow, and it will be a long (for me) day.

What is nice: coming home to comfort food that my husband had made. Fried chicken, okra, rice. No restaurant can ever do fried chicken the right way. Now my husband's fried chicken is better than my mother's, though Grandma has him beat with the okra since she uses cornmeal.

I don't like being limited like this, in how much I can do per day. Did too much this weekend, worked half as fast I "should" have yesterday. Being limited in physical function I can live with, but not when it interferes with life activities.

Is it just me being oversensitive, or is saying "thanks to so many able-bodied volunteers" insulting? Yes, able-bodied volunteers were needed for a project at the kids' school, but to me, you praise the work, not the part about being able-bodied.

I'm sorry my thoughts are kind of shallow right now. Blogging does help me compartmentalize some, release some of what bothers me about health issues, though not all of it, like pain that's bludgeoning me, can be released, much as I'd willingly let it go. I'd like to be a better writer for the sake of readers and potential readers here (i.e., give people a reason to visit, so that it benefits them in some way), but the blog will have to be what it is already for a while.

1 comment:

Elizabeth McClung said...

I think blogging serves a useful tool in not only recording our feelings and mental space but yes, starting to make us realize that what we ARE feeling is close and once seperated we might feel different.

And yes, I think putting able bodied is insulting, in the same way when I volunteered for the special olympics and was turned down because, "we only are looking for able bodied individuals" (Hello, Special Olympics? Inclusion? Can someone call the irony police?)