Thursday, March 20, 2008

Beep Beep Beep This Important Message for the Abled Community Beep Beep Beep

To the abled community:
1. Keep your hands the fuck off my scooter and me.
2. No means no. It doesn't mean I am too polite to say yes or don't know what's good for me.
3. Stop staring. It makes you look stupid. Especially when your mouth hangs open.
4. The striped parking place? It's not an extra parking spot. It's so we can get into the lot. So when I am in front of your car hood saying back up, back the hell up.
5. Now that we're 18 years after ADA, consider a couple of $40 ramps for your businesses' entryways because gimps in wheelchairs/scooters like outings with their families sometimes (huh, there were two of us in one afternoon already). If you can afford $50,000 for new bumper boats, no, you are not exempt, even though you said you are. Wishful thinking doesn't make it so.
6. Take a picture, it will last longer. On second thought, don't, you creepy goddamn fetishist. I'm tired of seeing you everywhere and I'm about to start snapping your picture and turning it in.
7. Teach your kids some manners. That means not knocking into me. I don't care if they stare or ask questions. Stop letting them run around and slam into me.
8. I am a person, not an object. When I am in line, I am in line. Don't try to sneak in front of me. I see you. Pretending you don't see me doesn't work.
9. If you knock the basket off my scooter one more time instead of going around me, I'm going to wrap it around your neck.

Thank you. Steroids cause grumpiness?

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