How to Cook a Turkey
Step 1: Catch a turkey.
Step 2: Cut it's head off.
Step 3: Take it's skin off.
Step 4: Take all the gross stuff out like the blood.
Step 5: Cook it about 30 or 45 minutes at 250F.
I vote for future med student: he's assured himself plenty of business by providing a good round of botulism and salmonella from a no-doubt pungent turkey.
I guess it does make me worry some, though he's averse to violence of any kind, even in movies.