Sunday, February 1, 2009

Sleepless

I'm up, I can't sleep, I may delete this later. I've been in avoidance mode for months. I think of who's reading, a couple of people I know. Damn, I can't say it. I need to tell. I have to delete. I feel like I am hurting others by writing it, by saying what I've only been able to tell one person so far.

4 comments:

yanub said...

Are you OK? If this thing you deleted is causing you to lose sleep, it must be pretty bad. If you need an ear, you have mine. Take care, Frida.

FridaWrites said...

Ok, I may email later. Thank you!

Lisa Moon said...

Hi, Frida,
I would love to offer an ear/set of eyes, too.
We've not spoken much - yet! - but I suspect we have much in common.

I totally get the sleep schedule thing, too. I suspect people think I'm being horribly lazy when I sleep in until 2pm (but am up for an hour around 7-8 am making sure my teenaged son gets off to school well...).

I just don't seem to sleep *well* when I do sleep; never restorative.

I've also been wrestling with some less-pleasant to write about feelings, of sadness, pain (emotional, not just physical) and loss... and so on...

I wonder whether to share or not on my own blog; will I alienate people by being a 'downer'?

Will I leave myself too vulnerable?

I hope things will look up for you - and for all of us.

Oh, and before I forget (sorry for my foggy-headed ramblings): may I add your blog to my blog list? I would love to have you, if you feel ok with that (when I first started, I just added cool blogs I found without asking - my faux pas or what?!).

DO take care.
Lisa

FridaWrites said...

Lisa, I hear you with the sleep thing. The ability to go back to bed is lovely.

Ironically, my blog is one of the few places I feel I can be a downer sometimes, for a long time if needed, though I worry about sounding too Eeyoreish. I tend to be matter of fact about disability with most people outside of blogging and don't like to say a whole lot about it, don't want attention because of it (though I want access!). We all blog for a variety of reasons, but for me one of the important ones is being able to discuss here some of the difficulties I just wouldn't comment on with most people (though I've learned a few people are seeing without me commenting).

Please feel free to add me to your bloglist--I generally don't ask people but so far people have been okay with it (I think!?).