Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sometimes Mothers Amuse Me

My mother called me last night to apologize that the potato salad at Mother's Day lunch wasn't really made by her but was storebought and she was feeling really guilty about it. Her potato salad recipe is outstanding but takes four hours to make a big batch. I told her that was fine, that often I/we don't have the energy to make something that takes a lot of time anymore either. This generation doesn't have such guilt about that though! And this has got to be gendered. While my husband makes great recipes, I just wouldn't see the guilt.

Of course some mothers are very different from mine. Last week we left volleyball practice 30 minutes in because some moms were being rude to me as they don't do when one of my friends is there or can at least ignore then--I mean making fun of me on the basis of disability ("her husband must be SOOOO proud of her" was the last straw). This week we did not attend practice but the coach had to cancel the practice halfway through because some of the girls were being so disrespectful to her. Let me tell you, I know exactly which girls because they are because I've sat through two seasons with them and one of them almost caused us to forfeit our game twice by arguing with the referee or showing her temper. Let me say I know exactly where they're getting their behavior. I hope the coach isn't so unlucky as to have some of the same set next year, but we're changing teams. My friend is coaching (she was on volleyball scholarship in college) and loading the team with people we already know.


Full Tilt said...

I guess you might've replied to the very rude comment that yes, your husband was proud of having a PHD candidate and wonderful person for a wife and mother and so were your kids, so much better than being snotty and rude...but you might've thought that was a waste of energy, too. Why are these people permitted to make remarks like this at a game??? Glad you're switching teams. Do you live around what we sometimes call red necks?

FridaWrites said...

Well, they were sitting behind me in the stands, and there weren't that many parents who stayed. The coaches' attention is very divided since we have 1 per team instead of 2 per team--they definitely can't pay attention to what's going on and some of the things the kids are doing to each other slide by their notice (since the girls do it when their attention is on a different group). Yes, it is a redneck area and that might be part of the issue. My friends are very culturally diverse, but I think it's their diversity that keeps them from doing something like that.

yanub said...

There's a difference between being a redneck and being a lout, and those women sound like plain louts.

I love your mom apologizing for store-bought potato salad. As if there could be even a slight chance that you'd have preferred homemade to being able to have her around relaxed and enjoying the day. Even though, really and truly, mom's potato salad is always the best, no matter the mom or the recipe. It's because potato salad always came with good memories, I think. But those memories remain even without the potato salad.

FridaWrites said...

I think you're right, yanub, because I've lived among a lot of self-professed rednecks who are not like this.

Yes, moms should not be too tired out to enjoy themselves. While I love the taste of her potato salad, that's just not worth her exhaustion.

Lisa Moon said...

OH. MY. GAWD. I cannot believe that there are people who have the disgusting nerve... no, complete lack of any kind of BRAIN to say such things! Sickening!

Full Tilt is right: your husband - and all of your readers! - have and do have every right to be very proud of you!

I hope those nasty people and their not-surprisingly bratty kids take a long walk off a short... well you know. Take off already! UGH, just have no patience for people like that! WT???

Good for you for being bigger than that!

I was very amused by your mom's guilty confession! That was very cute! And yes, while mom's make the best, four hours is just silly. Mom: buy the stuff, enjoy the gathering! You're wanted for your company, not your potato salad, dear!

Oh, and VERY glad to hear that you can switch teams and that there will be none of that garbage there!

And may I also add if I'm ever in your neighbourhood, I'd like to attend a game with you... in my scooter! I might find myself less able to hold my tongue as classily as you have done! (But I bet you money that I'm still far better than they have shown themselves to be!).

Keep strong!

FridaWrites said...

OMG, Lisa, (laughing), how'd they handle two scooters? I once saw three young, fast manual wheelchair users moving through a fair and it looked like such fun, not just the speed, but the company.

Babies, don't let your mamas become noncookers...my grandmother still does way too much for people, even while I'm saying, "Stop!" She's a giver/nurturer, but she'll do it until she makes herself sick, pushing herself until her heart condition (benign but tiring) wipes her out. Um, actually, that kind of sounds like me.