Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Life Has Gone Down the Tubes

I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well, calling up. It's sort of hard to talk to people like this. I am emotionally exhausted, burned out, the candle's burnt at both ends.

I do have more to worry about, just a little. I had a pre-surgery test today and got a phone call a few hours but it's probably incidental. Hoping I don't have to have a bigger surgery a few weeks from now. The ramp was too steep at the radiology place and I was terrified my scooter would tip backwards. The office staff was hateful--then the technician who rescued me from the waiting room turned out to be a former friend from when our kids were tiny. Embarrassing to have her there, but I would rather have her there! It's not really the way I wanted to get reacquainted. She assured me of privacy.

I hate all of this. No one in "RL" would even believe me, well, few. Not that I need them to know, but I wish people would extend some patience, some understanding, some recognition why I can't do what someone is asking me to do.

I've learned who I can count on at times like this--those who see me and turn away or even laugh and those who offer comfort. There are a lot of good people, but there are also people who show their character, not that any of us are perfect by any means. I understand busy-ness, no question; it's the response that interests me.

10 comments:

One Sick Mother said...

I'm sorry for all you are going through. I wish I lived closer, so I could help.

yanub said...

I wish I was closer.

Here's hoping for some good news for you.

FridaWrites said...

Thank you, both of you--you are dears. It would be lovely to live near the whole lot of my blogging friends. I anticipate that all will go well but I'll prob. be offline for a few days--I'll try to get my husband to postpone an update soon as he can.

The Goldfish said...

(((hug)))

I'm sure you'll notice a rope ladder down there, perhaps not just yet, but once this operation is over with. And it's a metaphorical rope ladder, not one you have to physically climb or anything. Can't think of an ADA-compliant metaphor...

Once again, best of luck with tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Donimo said...

Hey you. I just got caught up a bit. You've been on quite the roller coaster lately and I can understand why you are so wring out. Would that I could send you something that would fill up those emotional reserves. I'm s sorry that the "RL" folks are so clueless at times. Okay, often... who am I kidding? If it gives you any relief to email or chat with me, you know how to find me.

I'm not actually sure what kind of surgery you are having, but I hear you that you are very stressed about this. It sounds like you've done all the right things as far as informing people. I wish you a smooth procedure tomorrow and as easy a recovery as possible.

Take good care.

FridaWrites said...

:)
Thank you, guys--I will carry your good wishes with me tomorrow. I'm going to nap for a while--maybe I'll physically feel a little better from that.

FridaWrites said...

No, kids won't let me sleep. It's quiet all day until the mama wants to sleep.

Elizabeth McClung said...

I apologize for not being here for you. But now that I know, please let me help in any way I can even if it is just a place where you can vent and let all your emotions out.

I care about you a great deal and I will try to make sure that you have a hand to hold (over the internet) during this time.

FridaWrites said...

Elz, you're a dear, always there for me.

Lisa Moon said...

Add me to the list of those who wish we were closer to be of some "RL" help.

Instead, I can only send my thoughts and offer another empathetic ear.

I'm sure this must be so frightening and stressful and I'm praying you've had a positive outcome.